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TOPIC: Finally, at 59

Finally, at 59 4 months 4 weeks ago #5245

  • bg91968
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I finally discovered I have Aphantasia.

I experience very vague, distorted, black & grey images that pop into my mind on their own, but if I turn my
attention to them, they immediately fade to black.

I can never see anything, if I try with my eyes closed.

I can get an extremely vague, fleeting image (less than 2 seconds), if I try with my eyes
open and not focused on anything.

I never see any color except extremely vaguely, and then, only when my eyes are open.

I never dream in color and see vague distorted black and grey images which I almost never remember.

The way I remember things, is to come up with a narrative to describe them. i.e the shirt is white with blue vertical stripes.

I can't experience smells when they are not present.

I can't experience pain when it is not present, but I experience the fear of pain and the events that previously caused the pain.

As with others, I can only see words / letters when I am looking at them and see no images associated with any word.

I can't hear voices in my head, but I can perceive, but not hear spoken words. I am not sure how I can perceive spoken words without a "voice" but I do.

The biggest struggles I face are:

1) I am perceived rightly, as "talking too much". Makes sense as detailed language is my only choice for dealing with information
2) I read very slowly though I remember allot. The reason it takes so long is that create a narrative in my own words as I read to remember it.
3) I make allot of mistakes when transfer visual information such as when I measure and cut a non square board. I end up with the slant (for instance) cut the wrong direction. I am very good at comparing things visually with my eyes open, such as which wrench is used on a particular bolt.

Well that about sums it up as things sit right now. I have tried so many methods to improve my reading speed but none of them worked due to the fact that they ALL required visualization as a basic skill :(

It would be nice to hang out with people that have similar experiences, but I am glad I am not married to one. My wife and I have different strengths and weaknesses so together, we can competently handle almost all of what life hands us.

I do not think my life has been significantly affected by this condition however, my biggest regret is that I can not visualize the faces of those I love foremost and my friends as well.
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