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TOPIC: Not always aphant

Not always aphant 1 year 3 months ago #39916

  • Phoenix
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I remember being a young boy, using my vivid imagination regularly. Picturing everything from places I would go, to slightly more adult images, before the internet was so relevant.

Now, despite all the measures I've taken, my minds eye is blind, I close my eyes and all I see is black. I cant even picture a basic shape like a triangle and see it.

If they ever find a cause, I'd be curious to know how I lost it..Maybe it was my brain surgery? But I could picture things long after my surgery, it was sometime around early adulthood I lost my ability to picture things.

Hmm.
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Not always aphant 1 year 3 months ago #39918

  • ussfa344
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Phoenix,

You may be more correct than it might appear at first blush. Your brain surgery is most likely the culprit. I had a normal mind's eye before getting shot in the head a few too many times at age 20. Because I still possessed all of the imagery from before getting shot, it was not obvious for quite some time that I was not storing new imagery, nor manipulating old images. Then, after a number of years, I realized I could not just conjure up anything beyond my old memories. After over 48 years, it is difficult for me to even bring up the ancient images -- thank goodness.

A neuro-typical person with a normal mind's eye might be able to visualize an apple on a background of black. They can then manipulate that apple in their mind's eye and even change it's color/variety while visualizing it. They likely can also add or take away leaves and the petiole while manipulating that image. I, on the other hand, can only visualize a specific red apple and a specific green apple from my youth, but no yellow apples. But those two images are static. I can't manipulate them or separate them from their original backgrounds, nor think of those images without all of the associated memories of those two specific incidents, such as location, weather on those two days, who I was with and my approximate ages.
The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.
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