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TOPIC: Not Sure How to Move On

Not Sure How to Move On 2 months 4 weeks ago #39410

  • merryride
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As someone who has been diagnosed with autism for two years but has lived without knowing it had actually applied to me my whole life, I only realized the existence of the term 'aphantasia'. I am a high functioning autistic man who had to drop out of college because I became completely lost and unmotivated in whatever I had even began with. Fortunately, I was able to become part of the CIP (College Internship Program) at Long Beach. I do believe that I have improved a lot due to their services, but I only recently come to another roadblock because I come to realize that I truly had an inability to look through my mind's eye. I was talking to my career counselor and we were looking at new goals to make for the new term. I explained that I am aphantasiac and I had the inability to imagine anything in my mind. Although I was told that I had to practice visualizing, I had come to a conundrum. How would I practice visualizing and, even if possible, how would I move on with or without success?

There are other peers in the same program as I am who are fully capable to indulge in their imagination which I do feel envious and curious in its process.

This discovery is definitely much different to that of my autism since it is something that is much apparent and well understood.
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Not Sure How to Move On 2 months 3 weeks ago #39443

  • Bachy
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Hey Merry.
Everything starts somewhere. Maybe we just need to give someone a little prompting to have this explored a little more. Which I intend to do - one of our family friends is a Neurologist, a very good one, with a strong interest in research. I've been tossing this up for a while but I think I should talk to him about it. He may have some insights to share, or at the very least he'll be attracted to the idea of new papers in a new area.

It's good to hear you're high functioning autistic, you're managing with other hurdles and this should present you no real issues. :)

Regards,
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Not Sure How to Move On 2 months 3 weeks ago #39447

  • merryride
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I have been able to talk about it thoroughly with my therapist and I was told that visualizing is not just trying to imagine moving pictures. It can also be putting down information or details that one can fully see or understand on a visible piece of medium.

Being autistic does not absolutely guarantee one of having aphantasia. I have several peers who are able to daydream or use their imagination to create art. I accepted being autistic even after my diagnosis because, at that point in time, I had believe that I had needed help despite the beliefs of my parents. However, in the case for aphantasia, it appeared to be more daunting as it affected my long-term judgment and goal making as I am incapable of ever voluntarily dreaming. I just feel like I have one less way to actually connect with people who are able to live on without aphantasia.
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