It is nice to finally name something that people could never understand that I was explaining to them and the fact that everyone thought I must have had a tragic childhood to need to block out all memories even though that process continues to this very day. now being 40 with 2 children and divorced from my wife for 10 years, i have my children(13 year old son and 11 year old daughter) every other day and every other weekend. I desperately search to find every available moment to see them for fear that without any of the memories of there life to cement the bond that caries people through life that i may start to forget how much i love them and how much they mean to me. i know this sounds absurd. as i sit hear fighting back the insanity realizing that my 13 year old will soon be a adult and no longer with me daily as he starts his own life i cant help but contemplate will my memories of my son fade along with his visits? i have no recollection of births, first steps, magic moments, and I've never missed any of them. fortunately everyday is new and with out the emotional attachment that would come from visualization of past experiences, good or bad, this may not even matter when the time comes. My question is for someone whos kids have grown and left, do you slowly loose what you know you once had with your children? My emotional connections reside with the moment and i truly have no sense of being other than the here and now, with no memories of my own from birth till now. I fear that i will loose the most and only importance in my life, my love for my children.
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