Welcome, Guest
Username: Password: Remember me

TOPIC: Going through a break-up is easy if you have aphantasia?

Going through a break-up is easy if you have aphantasia? 3 years 9 months ago #1129

I never found break ups easier - however i can't stop to think that it would be harder if the person you are trying to forget keep showing up in your mind!!

What do you think?
The administrator has disabled public write access.

Going through a break-up is easy if you have aphantasia? 3 years 9 months ago #1131

  • kewley
  • kewley's Avatar
  • Offline
  • New Aphantasiac
  • Posts: 11
  • Thank you received: 4
  • Karma: 0
At the time no... But in retrospect yes...

As an example, a relative who has aphantasia is divorced... They now can't remember the day they split up or got divorced even though it was quite acrimonious at the time ...

I would say on a personal note that break ups are still hard but moving on is easier
The administrator has disabled public write access.
The following user(s) said Thank You: Thomas

Going through a break-up is easy if you have aphantasia? 3 years 9 months ago #1132

  • Thomas
  • Thomas's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Administrator
  • Non Visualiser
  • Posts: 267
  • Thank you received: 90
  • Karma: 3
In the past, I have found it easy, leaving them initially can be hard, but as I don't remember their face it was easy.

Obviously you would do something and think of them and remember something you did together. However, personally, not being able to see their face would make me think we find it much easier to cope with.
If you need anything just Send me a Private Message

Please don't be afraid, Make a Suggestion to Improve Our Community
The administrator has disabled public write access.

Going through a break-up is easy if you have aphantasia? 3 years 9 months ago #1133

  • Thomas
  • Thomas's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Administrator
  • Non Visualiser
  • Posts: 267
  • Thank you received: 90
  • Karma: 3
kewley wrote:
I would say on a personal note that break ups are still hard but moving on is easier

This captures it neatly, well said :)
If you need anything just Send me a Private Message

Please don't be afraid, Make a Suggestion to Improve Our Community
The administrator has disabled public write access.

Going through a break-up is easy if you have aphantasia? 3 years 9 months ago #1134

  • evk
  • evk's Avatar
  • Offline
  • New Aphantasiac
  • Posts: 59
  • Thank you received: 22
  • Karma: 2
People I've lost constantly showvisit my mind, so for me I don't think it makes a difference.
- We are all aphantastic!
The administrator has disabled public write access.

Going through a break-up is easy if you have aphantasia? 3 years 9 months ago #1188

  • bikersurfer
  • bikersurfer's Avatar
  • Offline
  • New Aphantasiac
  • Posts: 52
  • Thank you received: 28
  • Karma: 3
I can't even begin to picture my second wife. I can describe her general features, and would probably be able to identify a pic of her, but to acquire her countenance in my mind, sorry, no. Now, wives 1 and 3, l could describe fairly accurately so that a listener/visualizer could get a usable image, but not so much their faces. I do see (actually visit with) both 1 and 3 from time to time, though.

None of my (3) divorces were easy, but neither were any of them highly acrimonious. Hardest one was #1, my daughter's mother.
The administrator has disabled public write access.

Going through a break-up is easy if you have aphantasia? 3 years 9 months ago #1211

  • Nathan Buzby
  • Nathan Buzby's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Senior Aphantasiac
  • Posts: 348
  • Thank you received: 98
  • Karma: 5
I always found break ups very hard, for me I was usually attracted to characteristics beyond just the physical (not counting pheromones and a host of other unconscious attractiveness factors) and how I related and remember them is very much tied to my interest in their thoughts and personality, so with each break up I was very aware of the potential for distress, etc and that made it very hard on me. I would like to say I was usually forthright, but that was not the case, I tended to induce breakups by distancing and isolating myself, a bit cowardly in retrospect but I was just so darn conflict and harm avoidant, that I actually tended to make things worse. Eventually I found the words and wrapped my head around the concept of just how much worse my approach had been, but as a high turn over serial monogamist in college, I did some real harm, maybe not life scaring, but certainly damaged any potential friendships after and fostered acrimony.

To make it worse, there are some that went really sour and I wish I could apologize, but I cannot remember the names fully anymore, and can barely describe them to try and find out from college buddies, so I try not to dwell on it, since there is little I can do, but I have a lot of regret over some of the pain I caused.
Tone Disclaimer: If you read something I write and feel I am trolling, please read it again and imagine instead you are talking to a teacher or professor. I do not write from a place of self-superiority or ego, I favor dialectical conversations that seek to find underlying causation and truth.
The administrator has disabled public write access.
Time to create page: 0.178 seconds